This is what I call news: 3

Ok livejournal, we all know that if one person does something REALLY FUCKING stupid, a warning label will be on it's way. You're morning coffee from McDonald's warns you that it's hot. My hair dryer warns me not to use it while I sleep. My curling iron tells me not to use it on my eye lashes. Don't snow blow your roof, (on a meat slicer at my husband's work) do not stop blade with hands, people do some seriously stupid shit. Resulting in warning labels the rest of us find RIDICULOUS, and hilarious. It all comes from common sense, or really the lack there of. There's a reason you don't use a toaster while in the bath, and no, it's not because soggy toast is gross.

What has me on such an amusing rant you ask? Pediatricians want to put "choking hazard" warning labels on food. Why? Because of the 141 choking deaths in 2006, 61 were food related. And because 100 children under 14 die each year from choking. Thousands more are treated in ERs nation wide.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not opposed to the labels. But I don't think a warning saying that either you shouldn't give item x to a small child or if you do you should chop it up to pea size pieces, is really going to make a difference. Kind of like cancer warnings haven't stopped people from smoking.

In Lyons New York, a guy who was apparently REALLY pissed off at his wife used a backhoe to demolish 30 cars parked at a business. He did $40,000 in damages to the cars that were already awaiting getting crunched up in a derby. Why'd he do it? Other than being fairly mentally unstable? Because he thought someone at the business was having an affair with his wife.

Let's end this with a nice heart warming tale, shall we?

A springer spaniel survived a 300 foot fall off England's Seven Sister chalk cliffs. The pouch was chasing after a seagull when it jumped off the cliff and into the waters below. The dog was well enough to swim to the shore and bark at it's owners, suffering only a big shock, and a partially collapsed lung.

That's one lucky puppy <3

And that cupcakes, is what I call news <3


Dear Me, A Blogger's Tale; Review

So Livejournal, I just finished watching 'Dear Me, A Blogger's Tale' starring Sarah Thompson, David O'Donnell, and Felicia Day. Actually, Felicia Day is the only reason I bothered to netflix this movie. After my sudden obsession with her web show 'The Guild' I started to check out other stuff she's done. So I netflixed 'Dear Me', and uh, well, here's my review!

'Dear Me, A Blogger's Tale' is a story about incredibly awkward and social anxiety ridden Samantha.

*****WARNING***** Some spoilers may be contained!

In the beginning of the film, Sam is employed as someone who waters plants in office buildings. One of the buildings is an advertising firm. Catch lines are something of a specialty of Samantha's, so she finds herself helping the people at the firm out a bit by changing a slogan here or there to something better, more catchy, if not sometimes more cheesy. She dreams of one day working for the company, but her social anxiety really holds her back. In a therapy session, she discovers her insurance won't cover the weekly visits, and has to cut back to once every 6 weeks. Her therapist gives her some journals to log her daily life in that she's to drop off every so often, so that her therapist can keep up on her life between sessions. Samantha is dumbfounded by the prospect of journaling. For a while she stares at the blank pages, wondering what the hell she's supposed to write. In a fit of frustration, she wanders into her house mate/cousin's room late at night to find her blogging. Pipsy insists she start a blog. After the first, really awkward entry, Sam finds it more natural than writing in a journal, and thus 'Dear Me' is born.

Through a strange sequence of events (that if I told you about would pretty much ruin the movie for you) Sam winds up filling a temporary opening at the design firm, all the while blogging about everything. Her blog takes off, a love interest appears, and awkwardness ensues.

It's a funny, heart warming pseudo romantic comedy that I feel has a lot of appeal to anyone who has ever used a blog to keep their sanity during a crazy time in their lives. I totally recommend it. I know that I'll be buying it when I've got a bit of money. This one definitely belongs on my quirky movies that I adore shelf :) Right next to Shimotsuma Monogatari, and Honey and Clover :)

This is what I call news: 2

Daiki le gasp
Ok livejournal, I wasn't really planning on doing another news blog so soon. But during my daily surfing I found a few stories that were just too damn good to ignore. So let's get started shall we?

According to Sir Elton John, Jesus was gay.

During an interview with the celebrity news magazine 'Parade' he said "I think Jesus was a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems. On the cross, he forgave the people who crucified him. Jesus wanted us to be loving and forgiving. I don't know what makes people so cruel. Try being a gay woman in the Middle East -- you're as good as dead". Now as you might imagine, the good God fearing, gay hating public is pretty pissed off about this. The Catholic League is condemning the comments. League President Bill Donohue released a statement saying "Jesus was certainly compassionate, but to say He was “super-intelligent” is to compare the Son of God to a successful game-show contestant. More seriously, to call Jesus a homosexual is to label Him a sexual deviant. But what else would we expect from a man who previously said, “From my point of view, I would ban religion completely. We’re not sure what’s worse—John’s ignorance or intolerance. In any event, if we thought we could persuade him to issue an apology, we would try. But given his recidivism, we won’t even bother to ask. One thing is clear: someone needs to straighten John out."

Now personally I would like to hear Elton John out more on WHY he thinks Jesus was gay. I'm not saying it's impossible or anything. But they can't even prove who Jesus was in historical terms, let alone prove his sexuality. Hell, if the Catholic's are to be believed he lived and died a virgin. If he did live, I SERIOUSLY doubt that he never fucked. Straight sex, gay sex, whatever. If the man lived, he had sex. I just can't believe otherwise.

An airplane, dinosaurs, Hello Kitty, a hospital, a toilet, and ninjas. What do these things have in common? They're the themes of restaurants in Taipei, Taiwan. I'm not even kidding. Google them, there are pictures.

Wait until the drawbridge lowers over the moat, past the cascading screen of water, just inside the entrance to Taipei's newest theme restaurant, Ninja. Climb the dimly lit stairs and get into the dining area where waitresses in black or red wielding swords are waiting to light your menu on fire for you; you watch the flames snake across your table (not leaving a trace of ash, I might add).... then, they'd be glad to take your order.

Ok seriously.... WHY DO WE NOT HAVE SUCH AN AWESOME RESTAURANT IN AMERICA? Because now I need to go to Taiwan, and eat out. A lot.

And last but not least... is any one else SICK AND TIRED of hearing about Tiger Woods? His press conference this morning was apparently important enough to not only be streamed by youtube and every other major news network's websites, but it also was important enough to preempt TV shows on every major network. What made it even better, is even after all that coverage, the entire mid-day news broadcast was all about Tiger. His statement, people's reactions to his statement, and people bitching about how he didn't announce a return to golf yet. Really? Is he THAT important?

And that kiddies, is what I call news.


This is what I call news

Well hello there live journal! There's no real way to transition from my greeting into the meat of this, so yeah, jumping in now. I've had this weird fixation with news lately. Not the crap on tv which is only about 25% ACTUAL news (including local weather, traffic, and human interest pieces). So I've taken to the internet to get my fix. I've decided that when I get my volg out of the "I want to" stage, it'll probably be comprised of amusing news. I LOVE weird news. Here's today's gems:

A man from Lewiston Idaho was arrested Sunday not once, but TWICE..... on his wedding day. TWICE. Let me say that just one more time.... TWICE. Nathan Lewis was first arrested for drunken and disorderly conduct. After posting bail, he went home to Clarkston and assaulted his new bride. She told officers that he slapped and choked her.

I can't think of anything witty to even say to that....What a catch he must be.

Next up! In Shreveport Louisiana attempted to hold up an undisclosed location armed with a box cutter. He fled and was found in his bedroom closet hiding in.... wait for it....... a box. Oh irony, I do love you.

In news involving completely random surveys (who conducts these any way?? And why???) Six in ten brides use underhanded tactics to get their partner to propose to them. 33% bullied their partners by threatening to leave them, 17% made up a secret admirer who sent them flowers and the like, and 10% either got pregnant or faked a pregnancy. Younger women were guilty of the later way more often... 36% of them pulled the baby card. All that, for what? 62% didn't even have sex on their wedding night. LAME. 26% argued on their honeymoon, 31% didn't enjoy their wedding as much as they thought they would, 20% forgot to relax and enjoy the day, and 27% said their biggest regret about their wedding was their choice in groom.... Wow ladies. Just wow.

And last but not least... another stupid criminal.

In Joplin Missouri a 2 carat diamond ring was reported stolen, pictures of said ring were sent to area pawn and resale shops. When a man came into a pawn shop trying to sell said ring, the owner recognized the ring and called the cops. When they arrived, the man SWALLOWED the ring. However, while he was being questioned, he started hacking up a storm and ultimately coughed the ring up.

Really dude... 2 carats? You thought that would stay down?

And that's what I call news.




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